#good luck with you gender journey!

[rubenesque-as-fuck]

Anon with a secret here:

I am a cringefail bisexual boy (that part isn't secret) and I asked my friend if he wanted to move in with me before realising that I want to pull his hair and stuff 👉👈

Fortunately he said no for various very good reasons

(Un?)fortunately this has been a major accelerator in me having a gender crisis

Never quite worked out if I just think you're hot or if I want to look like you as well - probably both

Aw dang, that sounds rough! Probably for the best that the move-in didn't happen, but hopefully you're still friends.

Oh noooo, not a crisis! It can be scary but I know a lot of people who are much happier after doing some personal digging into what their gender identity really was. And hey, in my view gender is just a performance so you just have to figure out what kind of act you wanna be! Have fun with it and find what works for you, nothing is set in stone.

And that's very nice of you to say 😁 I definitely have quite a few people that I can think of that fall into a similar caregory. For instance, lately I have been thinking quite a bit about whether I want to be 90's era Brendan Fraser, or just have him raw me? And also, why not both?

[cutielando]

hey angel | c.l.

social media au

synopsis: in which your family is growing

part 2

my masterlist

liked by yoursister, leclerc_pascale and 15,492,731 others

charles_leclerc & y/n.leclerc baby leclerc coming soon ❤️

view all 4,284,175 comments

leclerc_pascale congratulations, my children !!! ❤️ i am so proud of the two of you and the family you're growing together !!

y/n.leclerc je t'aime, maman !!! thank you for everything ! ❤️❤️

charles_leclerc ❤️

arthur_leclerc congrats brother 🙏🏼

charles_leclerc thank you bro 🙏🏼

y/n.leclerc thank you, uncle 'thur 🥹🥹🥹

landonorris can't believe you guys are going to be parents

y/n.leclerc we can't either

charles_leclerc very kind words mate, thanks

carlossainz55 congratulations, my friend! very happy to have an addition to the Ferrari team ❤️

charles_leclerc thank you brother❤️ we're going to put him or her in a kart as soon as possible

y/n.leclerc we haven't discussed this, mr. leclerc

carlossainz55 you better tread lightly, pregnancy hormones are no joke

y/n.leclerc carlos, watch your back

charles_leclerc oh God...

yourmother i am so happy for the two of you, sweetie!!! this baby is already so loved❤️❤️

y/n.leclerc we love you, mom ❤️

charles_leclerc sending you lots of love, mrs. y/l/n❤️

yoursister AHHHHHHH I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU❤️❤️❤️❤️

y/n.leclerc i love you !!!!! ❤️❤️

joris_trouche congrats, didn't think you had it in you brother

charles_leclerc ...

y/n.leclerc don't make fun of my husband, joris.

joris_trouche i apologize, mrs. leclerc

charles_leclerc you're in the doghouse now, mate. good luck getting out of there

y/n.leclerc you want to join him?

charles_leclerc no ma'am, my love

user1 MY BABIES ARE HAVING A BABY I CAN'T😭😭😭

user2 mini y/n or mini charles 😭😭😭

liked by charles_leclerc, francisca.cgomes and 3,294,127 others

y/n.leclerc being your mama is my proudest accomplishment ❤️ tagged: charles_leclerc

view all 719,427 comments

charles_leclerc watching you grow our baby has me convinced that you are a superwoman. i love you, and our baby is the luckiest in the world to have you as their mother ❤️

y/n.leclerc baby, you are going to make me cry😭😭😭😭

y/n.leclerc i love you so much and i'm so grateful to have you by my side through this journey ❤️❤️❤️

leclerc_pascale you are glowing, my dear ❤️

y/n.leclerc merci maman ❤️ i'm lucky i don't look as tired as i feel

leclerc_pascale i take it charles is taking good care of you?

charles_leclerc maman, of course i am

y/n.leclerc he takes amazing care of me ❤️ even through my mood swings

carlossainz55 you look amazing, y/n. you are glowing

charles_leclerc back off, sainz

y/n.leclerc charlie, play nice. thank you carlos ❤️

francisca.cgomes you are glowing !!! sooo beautiful

y/n.leclerc thank you so much honey !!

scuderiaferrari we cannot wait for the little one to become part of the team! ❤️

charles_leclerc i can't wait either ❤️

y/n.leclerc slow your roll

carmenmmundt ❤️❤️❤️ we're so excited!!

y/n.leclerc ❤️❤️ we miss you guys

y/n.leclerc added to their story

seen by 718,174

liked by sharleclerc, yourbff and 31,583 others

formula1wags Y/N Leclerc spotted in the paddock today! The wife of Charles Leclerc was glowing with her baby bump in the center of the Ferrari garage's attention, Charles dotting on her the entire time before he had to get into the car. We have spoken to Y/N and at the question about the baby's gender, she didn't comment on it but smiled and winked in return. What do you guys think the gender of their baby is going to be? 🩷💙

view all 9,284 comments

sharleclerc it's for sure going to be a boy, just look at the leclerc family 🩵

user1 i'm really hoping it's a girl, imagine charles being a girl dad 😩😩😩

user2 he's so girl dad coded, it's not even funny😭

user3 imagine a son that will follow in his father's footsteps 😭😭😭

yourbff 🤭

sharleclerc DO YOU KNOW SOMETHING WE DON'T???? 🤯🤯🤯🤯

user1 spill the tea sister, we need it ����😤😤

yourbff my lips are sealed 🤐

user2 they all love playing with us ☹️

liked by charles_leclerc, carmenmmundt and 11,382,579 others

y/n.leclerc i am officially a girl mom 💗🩷 tagged: charles_leclerc

view all 4,285,173 comments

charles_leclerc so excited ❤️ thank you for giving me this gift, my love. you are a supermama already and i can't wait to officially begin this journey with you when our little princess joins us🩷

y/n.leclerc je t'aime 🥹🩷🩷

y/n.leclerc you just made me cry, charlie 😭😭

charles_leclerc don’t cry my love☹️❤️

arthur_leclerc i’m going to spoil her rotten

y/n.leclerc art, we talked about this

charles_leclerc listen to the mama, arthur

arthur_leclerc ☹️ you’re ruining my fun uncle duties

y/n.leclerc there are other duties you have to perform except for spoiling our child

leclerc_pascale 🩷🩷🩷thank you for giving me a niece, ma belle fille 🩷

y/n.leclerc we love you, maman 🩷

lilymhe i’m so happy for you, mama!!!!🩷🩷 can’t wait to meet the little bean 😭🩷

y/n.leclerc 🩷🩷

charles_leclerc she’s crying because of the comment

y/n.leclerc how can i not 😭😭

user1 AHHHH WE ARE GETTING GIRL DAD CHARLES 😭🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

user2 i’m so happy for them 🩷🩷

user3 watching them grow together has been the greatest journey i have ever witnessed

user4 just a couple of years ago they were announcing their relationship online and now they’re announcing the gender of their baby, i’m not okay 😩😩🥹😭

francisca.cgomes she’s already so loved 🩷🩷

y/n.leclerc we love you, auntie kika 🥹🩷

pierregasly you made kika cry

charles_leclerc it’s contagious

carla_brocker ahhhh i knew it !!!! 🩷🩷🩷 already buying her all the baby clothes

y/n.leclerc sweetie🥹🥹🩷

arthur_leclerc why is she allowed to spoil her and i’m not?

y/n.leclerc you wouldn’t understand

carla_brocker it’s a girl thing, arthur

arthur_leclerc 😐???

carlossainz55 congratulations, my dear friends❤️ liked by y/n.leclerc and charles_leclerc

liked by scuderiaferrari, leclerc_pascale and 28,156,048 others

y/n.leclerc & charles_leclerc camille jules leclerc🩷

view all 11,482,597 comments

leclerc_pascale congratulations, my beautiful children!! i am so proud of you and i can't wait to meet her 🩷🩷

charles_leclerc thank you maman 🩷

scuderiaferrari welcome to the team, camille!❤️ liked by charles_leclerc and y/n.leclerc

landonorris congrats, guys. hope you got my gift

y/n.leclerc thank you lando. yes, we got the gift. no, she won't be wearing papaya onesies

landonorris :(

carlossainz55 she is beautiful, good job y/n ❤️

y/n.leclerc thank you, carlos ❤️

charles_leclerc what about me?

y/n.leclerc no uterus, no say

charles_leclerc yes ma'am

user1 THEY NAMED HER JULES😭😭😭😭

user2 i'm sobbing 😭😭 they are so precious

user3 congrats guys !!!!! we cannot wait to meet the little cutie

user4 😭😭😭😭😭JULES😭😭😭😭😭

francisca.cgomes AHHHHHHH MY GIRL🥰🥰🥰🥰

y/n.leclerc she cannot wait to meet her auntie kika 🥰

pierregasly you made her cry again

y/n.leclerc sorry not sorry

francisca.cgomes HOW CAN I NOT????

charles_leclerc Y/N, I have never loved you more than I do in these moments. Seeing you grow our baby girl over the past few months has been a blessing, and seeing you heroically through the labor and birth of Camille has made me realize just how lucky I am to call you my wife and the mother of my child. I love you more than words can describe and I cannot wait for our future with our daughter 🥰

y/n.leclerc baby 🥺🥺🥺

y/n.leclerc i love you so much, i couldn't have done it without you by my side

user5 Charles' comment >>>>>>>>>>>>>

user6 if my husband isn't like this, i don't want him

user5 for real

lilymhe congratulations, love !!!! ❤️❤️❤️ i cannot wait to see her!!

y/n.leclerc ❤️❤️❤️

carmenmmundt good job, mama!!! ❤️❤️❤️

y/n.leclerc thank you love ❤️❤️

carla_brocker she is the perfect little squish, congrats you guys ❤️

y/n.leclerc thank you, sweetie ❤️

arthur_leclerc can i spoil her now?

y/n.leclerc 🙄yes

user8 i cannot wait to see her in the paddock

user7 just imagine Charles with his little daughter all dressed up in red 🥺🥺🥺

charles_leclerc we're bringing her as soon as possible

user8 YES 😭😭

comments and re-blogs help us grow!

much appreciated!!

REQUEST HERE

[biting-miguel-ohara]

Solnyshko - Natasha Romanoff x gn!Reader

A/N: I really really wanted to write a small thing for Natasha, so here we are. I set this in a 2012ish era, which is why the Avengers live at the Tower and such. I might do something more with this Reader and their powers in a future story as well.

Also, solnyshko means little sun in Russian. It’s the only potentially gendered language in the fic

Dividers by @/whimsicalrogers

CW: fluff, language, soft Natasha, Natasha speaks Russian, Reader is a former SHIELD agent, Reader has powers, failed missions, mentions of blood and injury, very very light angst, a forehead kiss, soft ending, probably ooc Natasha

640 words

“Hey, Nat,” you greet the red-haired Avenger with a sleepy smile. “Early morning, huh?”

“Good morning, solnyshko.” Natasha smiles back at you, handing you a cup of tea. “I should be saying that to you. You look like you’re still half-asleep.”

You laugh and rub the back of your neck, taking a sip of your drink. “I feel like it. I dunno how you can do early morning missions. I feel like shit.”

Natasha just smiles and pulls out a seat for you at the table.

You’re a former SHIELD agent. One of Barton’s old teammates. You’ve known Natasha since the day she joined.

Now you’re an unofficial member of the new team. The big team. You deal with the remnants of SHIELD for them and they help you train your powers.

You don’t have anything really special. No magic or anything. But your light powers come in handy for making illusions and you’ve been called in several times to help out with Loki when he comes to Earth. So all in all, you’re not complaining.

You take a seat at the table and enjoy the bits of morning you have. You’re leaving in an hour and you want to savor your last moments with the team.

Well, the members of the team who are up. Cap comes in before his morning run, but doesn’t stick around for long. Tony passes through briefly to grab a cup of coffee. The others, you know they won’t be up for another couple of hours at least.

So you enjoy your morning with Natasha. It’s been a while since you and her chatted, and you enjoy the conversation.

Eventually your time is up.

“Wish me luck,” you tell her with a wry smile.

She laughs and gives you a fond look. “You’ll do great. You’re our best, after all.”

You laugh at that and head on out.

Your return isn’t nearly as happy or cheerful.

The mission was a failure. Despite your best efforts, your target got the jump on you and shot you four times. You’d barely made the journey back, your wounds bleeding profusely.

By the time you’re sent to the medbay, you’re woozy with loss of blood. Your steps are sluggish and you lean against the wall for support.

There’s a voice calling your name. Then arms sliding under you, scooping you up.

There’s hair as red as blood brushing against your face. And then your eyes shut.

When you open them again, you’re in your room at the Tower. Your body aches like hell, but you can feel all your limbs.

You shift your arm, your muscles groaning in protest. Still, you force yourself up a bit, before a hand on your shoulder stops you.

“You gotta lie down.” It’s Natasha, looking rather tired and weary. “Doctor’s orders.”

“Fuck the doctor,” you mutter, trying to get up further.

Natasha gently pushes you back down. “Not the time, solnyshko.”

You don’t resist further. Instead, you sigh and stare up at the ceiling. “The mission failed.”

“It wasn’t your fault. We had bad intel.” She toys with the sleeve of your shirt. “Our inside man was a double agent.”

“Still. I could’ve done better.”

She gently flicks your forehead. “Don’t play that game. You did what you could. Getting shot like that would put anyone out of commission.”

You look at her. At her red-as-blood hair. “Even you?”

She smiles faintly. “Even me.”

It makes you feel a bit better and you nod. “Thanks.”

She leans in and kisses your forehead. “Always.”

A yawn overtakes you and you groan softly. Natasha laughs a little. “Go back to sleep. Your wounds need time to heal.”

You yawn again and nod, letting your eyes close. “Goodnight, Nat.”

Her fingers find yours and she gives your hand a light squeeze. “Goodnight, solnyshko. Sweet dreams.”

[hl-obsessed]

✨ FIC REC ✨ ~ last 3 months

.🌸🌸🌸.

Just Pretend by @kingsofeverything

(E, 90k) Louis Tomlinson is a divorced dad who doesn't date. What free time he has, he likes to spend with his teenage daughter, and if he wants to take someone home, he does it when she's spending the weekend with her mom.

Then he meets Harry Styles, another divorced dad with a teenage daughter, who convinces him it’s a good idea to pretend they're dating to keep their kids happy.

You've Taken My Heart By Storm by @boosbabycakes28

(E, 66k) Omega prince Harry of Silvermoor is betrothed to the powerful King Guillaume of Goldenhaven.

A month-long journey to get to his new mate brings along uncertainty, doubts and a guard that might turn the already promised omega’s life upside down.

But what will happen when forbidden feelings get in the way of his duty? Will the prince fulfill it and make his kingdom and family proud, or will he give into his desires?

✨ feed a fever, starve a heart by @insightfulinsomniac

(E, 12k) When Louis turns twenty-one, he receives a call from the National Secondary Gender Services alerting him to prepare for his first rut. Everyone presents two to three days after their twenty-first birthday, and all heats and ruts require medical supervision just in case one thing goes wrong:

Rut fever.

Most people don’t find their soulmates before they present, especially since soulmate identification can only come through pheromones released after presentation. But if a first rut or heat begins without the person’s soulmate present, so does dangerous rut fever.

Louis is certain his first rut will be normal. He hasn’t seen the only person he ever had a crush on in childhood in nearly three years, and besides, they were only ever best friends.

Everything will be fine… right?

A Sleep Story Just For You by @lululawrence

(NR, 12k)The Trans Siberian Railroad by Harry Styles.

Louis pouted a little. He wished that some of the names he actually recognized and knew he could fall asleep to were available for free, but maybe this Harry guy was better than the woman with the grating, condescending tone.

When Louis clicked on the image for the story there was a bit of a pause, and then a deep voice came through the speakers of his phone.

Holy shit. Louis’ eyes went wide as a chill ran down his spine. The man’s voice was glorious. It was a rich baritone that Louis wanted to have whispering in his ear while they did dirty, dirty things together.

Louis paused. Maybe that was what he needed.

Or four times Louis uses the Calm App to help him get to sleep, and one time he doesn't need to.

Your Eyes Outshine the Town by @insightfulinsomniac

(E, 19k) When a freak French snowstorm traps Harry's family in Paris, he's suddenly left flying home for a Christmas spent alone. However, everything changes after a chance encounter with an undeniably attractive, generous alpha who suggests that Harry join his family's Christmas celebrations. Against his better judgment, Harry agrees, and follows Louis back to Doncaster for the holidays.

Little does he know, he'll not only become attached to the alpha, but to his entire family. Maybe his Christmas won't be as lonely as he expected.

Complete and utter fluff ensues. Sappy Christmas tropes abound.

Face Your Fears by @sadaveniren

(E, 92k) Harry is a single father, pretending to be a beta after his alpha mated him and left him. He’s getting by just fine raising the twins when Louis walks into his bakery. Too bad him and Louis will never be a thing.

The Warmth by @goldensweetmemory

(M, 22k) Prompt: Based on the movie "Good Luck To You, Leo Grande"

✨ Anonymous Said by @alivingfire

(T, 21k) When Harry was sixteen, he reached out for someone, anyone, to help him through the hardest days of his life. When Louis was eighteen, he answered. While they didn't know each other's names or faces or lives at all, really, it didn't stop them from falling a little bit in love.

And when Harry moves to Manchester for uni two years later, he meets a boy in a bookshop named Louis and wonders why it all feels so easy.

Or: two boys, two blogs, two years of anonymous messages, and a bookshop where it all comes together.

💎✨ Is it a sign? by @greenblueish

(E, 25k) “Also, I didn’t mean it literally,” Harry continues his rambling, gesticulating to support his point. “You don’t owe me a beer and I surely don’t expect you to buy me anything, it was just to start a conversation but you’re obviously not interested in that. Which, again, maybe next time an omega, or anyone really, approaches you, you could convey -” 

To Harry’s surprise, he’s interrupted by the handsome stranger, who’s been weirdly fixated on his lips the whole time. What a creep! 

“You speak so fast, I can’t read your lips like this.” 

What? Harry’s frown deepens and he just stares at the man, waiting for him to explain. Because why the hell would he need to read Harry’s lips? They’re not in some detective movie. 

The man rolls his eyes at Harry’s obvious lack of understanding. 

“I’m deaf,” he huffs and points to his ear. 

And oh. Yikes. That’s kind of embarrassing.

or, the one where Harry meets a certain handsome alpha at his sister's wedding and learns that speaking verbally doesn't have to be the only means of communication.

✨ Confessions of a Fabricated Alpha by @jaerie

(E, 18k) Famous alpha Harry Styles has a secret and paying an alpha to roleplay a relationship with him over the phone is the only way he can be himself.

✨ Purity Piercings by @jaerie

(E, 5k) “Okay I need the help of… The sex side of Tiktok? The piercing side of Tiktok? Religion side of Tiktok?? I don’t even know,” the guy in the video said, sitting in his car looking stressed. Even if Louis wasn’t a piercer by trade, he was already invested.

“I was born and raised in the HMF -- Google it if you don’t know what that is -- and I know some of their practices are not normal outside of the HMF townships,” the Tiktoker ran his fingers through his hair and paused as he looked out the car window for a second. “I’ve been out for almost two years and I just learned that purity piercings aren’t a thing?? Like… Can someone confirm? Is that really not a normal thing that’s done?”

✨ From Inside by brightlouis

(E, 2,5k) Harry hates doing his testosterone shot. His fiancé, Louis, administers it for him-- then fucks him as a reward.

✨ Get Knocked Down by @alivingfire

(T, 1,8k) A yellow blur, a massive yellow blur, comes roaring out of nowhere. Harry, sickeningly enough, recognizes him: it’s Agbonlahor, a striker for Aston Villa and one of Louis’ favorite players on an otherwise terrible team. He’s hurtling toward Louis and, for a moment, the world stops. Harry feels the beer he’d been holding drop with a soft thump to the carpet. Louis looks so tiny, suddenly on the very big screen; how did anyone allow him out on the pitch with all those huge men? Harry can’t look away. He has to look away. He can’t.

Agbonlahor crashes headlong into Louis and the crunch can be heard all the way in Los Angeles.

From the prompt: I want you to talk bout Harry's reaction to Louis getting hurt and throwing up at the football match.

✨ The Deepest Cut (Is The First Time) by @alivingfire

(E, 2,5k) “You know what we should do?” Louis asks, his voice a little wobbly but otherwise fine. Harry’s jealous of how in control of himself he seems, when he feels like he’s about to combust into a million heart-shaped pieces of confetti. “Or, actually, you know what you should do?”

“What? Anything. Whatever you want,” Harry mumbles, his attention scattered by the heat thudding through his veins.

“You should fuck me,” Louis says.

And, suddenly, he has Harry’s attention laser-focused on him once more.

From a prompt on tumblr for HL's first time.

✨💎 Inconceivable by @alivingfire

(E, 23k) Louis and Barbara Tomlinson are twin brother and sister. Harry's in love with Louis, Niall's in love with Barbara, and they both go by Tommo. It gets a little confusing.

This Morning I Woke Up (Still Dreaming) by @fallinglikethis

(T, 2,6k) Louis rushes to open the door to his flat when he hears the knocking signaling that his appointment has arrived. He pulls it open to see one of his regular clients standing there, a broody man standing next to her eyeing Louis warily.

“Gemma,” Louis greets warmly, hugging his client hello.

“Hey, Louis,” she says into his neck before letting him go to turn, gesturing at her companion. “This is my brother, Harry.”

“Hello, Harry,” Louis says, shaking Harry’s hand. He gets flashes when their hands touch, small glimpses of the loss and pain Harry carries around with him. It’s gone as soon as Harry pulls his hand away and Louis pretends he didn’t see anything. Harry hasn’t asked for his services, though Louis suspects that’s why Gemma’s brought him here.

✨💎 Are We Destined to Burn (Or Will We Last the Night?) @fallinglikethis

(T, 6,8k) Sick of being punished for his past mistakes, Lucifer has left Hell and relocated to L.A. There, he decides to spend some time trying to better understand humanity and maybe make a new name for himself. He doesn't expect to find himself so fascinated by the mortals that find their way into his life, especially one in particular. And he definitely never expected to fall in love.

Copy of a Copy of a Copy by @fallinglikethis

(T, 3,8k) When a lab demonstration goes wrong, suddenly there are many Zayn Maliks running around town. It's up to Sheriff Liam Payne to gather up the errant Zayns, while the original panics back at the lab. Finding out what caused the mishap takes a backseat to Zayn's growing fears of what one of his clones might say to the sheriff he once had a fling with and still very much has feelings for.

Fakes (Streaming Live) by @allwaswell16

(E, 4,2k) Alpha camboy Henry Steel has a rather unfortunate crush on omega camboy Luscious Lucas. He also has a rather unfortunate secret that's about to be revealed.

✨ Never Been Knotted by @allwaswell16

(E, 9,4k) Harry doesn't mind that he presented as a beta. It mostly just makes his life easier and more convenient. There's just one small problem: he'd really like to be knotted.

The Brightest Lights by @all-these-larrythings

(M, 70k) After watching yet another actor walk away with his Oscar, Louis is on the lookout for the role of a lifetime that might finally get him the one thing he has always wanted. He didn't think coming out of his self-proclaimed break to do another film would be all that difficult, but that was before he met his new co-star.

✨ Where All Roads Lead by @all-these-larrythings

(NR, 7k) Harry's Christmas takes an unexpected turn when he discovers a misplaced holiday card in his letterbox. He never thought that braving the snow to return the card to its sender would be so worth his while.

Beyond the Walls and Cages by @all-these-larrythings

(M, 84k) After twelve years of walking on eggshells that he always seems to crack, Harry's life is a bubble just on the edge of bursting, and meeting Louis is the inevitable pop; a beautiful explosion really.

✨ To you I can admit, I'm just too soft for all of it by @starryhaze28

(NR, 28k) “Harry?” Louis asks when he hears the frantic crying coming through the speaker. “H, darling what's wrong?”

Concerned, Louis puts on his shoes as he keeps hearing the sobs. It’s the middle of the night and the phone call has definitely pulled Louis out of his deep slumber, but Harry is crying, and Louis has to be with him.

“It’ll be okay, baby, I'm gonna come over, okay? You just- Haz you have to send me your address, yeah? Can you do that for me?” Louis asks, trying to remain as poised as possible as he presses his phone between his ear and shoulder so he can grab his jacket.

“No.” Harry cries out. “It's all wrong, Lou- It’s-” Another sob. “I hate it, Lou, I hate it so, so much, make it stop.”

⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ⋆ ˚｡⋆

the nesting shop au

.🌸🌸🌸.

part 1 (+50k) 💐 part 2 (30-50k) 🌾

part 3 (10-30k) 🌺 part 4 (<10k) 💐

[gothicchildofthenight]

Dead-Bird

FEM DNI‼️ (She/her, She/they, etc.) - you’ll be blocked.

request: “hihi ! can you write rodrick x ftm reader thats just like , treated as one of the guys in rodricks friend group and has a sense of belonging , then heather outs the reader or something n rodrick stands up for them (???) im not sure where im going with this request u can interpret it however u want”

summary: moving to plainview for a fresh start while you’re transitioning. you meet rodrick heffley, resident emo, and become inseparable. what happens when heather hills gets jealous thats he’s turned all his attention on you?

descriptions: ftm!reader, intended for a black reader but can be read by any race, rodrick might be ooc (??), i made heather really mean (and homophobic 😭) but in reality i have no hate to her HER ACTRESS IS GORGINA, slur drop (f word), maybe the reader a girly kid sorry if that upsets anyone, cursing, throwing up (only happens once and i don’t think it’s detailed), let me know if i missed anything!!

a/n: yall, i know i said friday, but circumstances change (especially when baby siblings are sick asf) so i’m sorry. you’re allowed to yell at me in the comments!! BUT ITS FINALLY HERE‼️ pls let me know if you like it, and if you think i should change anything. i can always improve!!

word count: 8.29k (i got carried away 😭)

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For as long as you can remember, you knew you didn’t feel right with who you were. You wore the dresses, the skirts, joined the girls line when you were split off and you were ok with it, but it never felt right. You wanted to get your hands dirty, skin your knee, and you could do all of that with the girls, but you wanted to do it with the boys.

Your parents seemed to acknowledge this and your family just labeled you a tomboy. It wasn’t until your last year of middle school that you realized who you were, what you were. You were a boy, you were trans.

After going back and forth with yourself, you go to your parents with tears streaming down your face. With the way you and your parents were raised, it didn’t seem like they were going to be accepting.

“Are you done blubbering?” Your mom had asked you, which made you cry even more because you didn’t know if that could be good or bad. “We knew this could be a possibility with you just wanting to be with little boys.”

“Just because your grandparents have a skewed perspective on gender doesn’t mean we do.” Your dad joined in with a hand on your shoulder.

And with that started your transition journey. First with therapy, then doctor visits, and finally testosterone. When you started taking testosterone (end of sophomore year), you and your parents moved to give you a fresh start. With their careers, they could work anywhere as long as they could travel.

Plainview was just that, plain, but it got the job done so you can lay low. You couldn’t even point it out on a map, but it seemed like a great place to get a fresh start. Family homes, mom and pop shops, and maybe 6 schools around. No one knows you, seeing as you moved almost cross-country, so perfect.

Your first day wasn’t anything like you imagined. You thought you would be clocked immediately, especially since in the rush to move and get enrolled in school you had forgotten to get your haircut. You lucked out though, because the only reason someone (besides a teacher) came to talk to you was because of your Pearl Jam shirt.

That was the day you met Rodrick Heffley, resident “bad boy” with a band that wasn’t shit (you could say that seeing as you were in it) and a taste for rock and metal. That’s who came to talk about your shirt.

“You listen to Pearl Jam?” He asked, and you were immediately on the defense.

You knew you didn’t exactly look the part of emo metalhead, you had heard it your whole life growing up. “Listen to your normal music,” was a common one, and you won’t lie, it hurt. Especially from the popular white kids because it was just another tally mark against you.

“Yes? What about it?” You snapped.

“Woah, didn’t know I touched a nerve,” his face had reddened a little, but besides that it didn't change. “I was just gonna ask your favorite song.”

“Whatever,” you rolled your eyes. “I like Why Go from the Ten album.”

“Cool, cool, that’s a good one.” And then you both just stood there staring at each other. “Do you want to come over to my house after school?”

“I don’t even know you, kid,” you chuckled, “what are you, a kindergartener?”

“Well excuse me for trying to be nice.” He rolled his eyes. “I’m Rodrick.”

He held out his hand, which you hesitantly shook. “I’m (Y/N).”

“So are you coming over or what?”

And just like that he became one of the most important people in your life– along with his best friends; Drew, Ward, Chris, and Ben. Present day, you are never without Rodrick, and he, you. It doesn’t take a lot to convince the other to do something you probably shouldn’t, which leads to you guys getting in trouble a lot.

Like how one time towards the end of junior year in the middle of the night, Rodrick and you snuck out for a carnival almost 2 hours away. You had been relaxing at home, reading, when you heard little tinks coming from your window. You knew it was Rodrick throwing rocks at your window. He always did that when he’d sneak out of his house to come to yours.

“What the hell do you want?” You jokingly whisper-yelled as you opened your window.

“Come to a fair with me!” He whispered back.

“Last time I checked, the summer fair didn’t come until after school ended?”

“Because it’s not the one in Plainview, it’s the one in Huntington! Just come on!” He groans.

“First of all, I’m in pajamas!” You motioned up and down yourself. “Second of all, that’s almost two hours away!”

“So what, you’ve snuck out with me before! What makes this time any different? Come on, (Y/N), live a little!”

“Fuck it, fine!” and you closed your window to change. Your parents were long gone asleep, so you doubt they’d check on you, meaning you were in the clear.

You settled on baggy pants and a short sleeve, which is what you almost always wear, before you jumped out your window (you were on the second floor, yea, but your house wasn’t that big so it wasn’t a huge jump). Rodrick was waiting in his van, so you climbed into the passenger seat and set off.

You took a mini nap on the way, but after you woke up, you guys didn't shut up. From school to new albums, you talked about it all. You guys always were like this, (still were) even though at this point you’d only known each other a couple months. It scared you a little, how close you two had gotten in such a little period of time, mainly because you don’t want him to drop you because of who you were before.

“We’re here!” He pulled into a parking spot. You both climbed out of the van and met in front of it. “You brought your wallet, right?”

“Hanging with you? Of course not.” You deadpanned, before pulling out your wallet with a smile. “Why would I go to a fair without my wallet?”

He just rolled his eyes, slung his arm around your neck and walked to the ticket booth. Once in the fair, you guys set a plan to leave around 2:00 so you can get back in time for school.

You run around together, ride to ride, concession stand every chance you can get, and then barfing into a trash can. “I will never sneak out with you again.”

“Sure, ok,” Rodrick scoffed. “Come on, I want to ride the ferris wheel before going home!”

“Sure,” you rolled your eyes as you wiped your mouth, “just let me finish tossing my organs into this dumpster.”

“Let's go, smart ass.”

Surprisingly, there wasn’t a long line for the wheel. You’re on it in 5 minutes, and at the top in another 5.

“Told you it was worth it.” Rodrick teased as you looked out to the neon fair lights.

“Yea, yea, whatever,” you mumbled, too busy looking out at the eye widening view.

There’s a moment of silence. “Y’know, I’m glad we met each other.”

“Ew, don’t get all sentimental on me. Especially on a ferris wheel, that's just cringey.” You joke.

“I’m being serious!” He sighs. “Like I love the band, but I think me and you got closer in the span of a few months than me and them since middle school. It’s crazy.”

“Yea, sure, ok, dude,” you look back out to the lights. You couldn’t look him in the eyes because you had this warm feeling in your gut that you couldn’t place.

Rodrick doesn’t allow you to, though, as he grabs your face in one hand to make you look at him. “What the hell are you doing?”

“I want you to say it,” he stares into your eyes, seeming to search for something.

“Say what, jackass?” You feel your face catch on fire in the dark of the night.

“That I’m your best friend.” He looks so serious, and his eyes never leave yours.

“You’re my best friend,” you roll your eyes with a grin, “can you let me go now?”

“We’ll work on it.” He pats the side of your face and then faces the lights outside the wheel.

When you're both off the ferris wheel, you’re headed back home. The car ride home was silent, you in your own head and Rodrick seemed tired. You offered for him to stay over and sleep until school starts, but he declines, knowing his parents will wake him up in the morning.

You pull up to your house but just sit there for a second. “It was a bunch of fun, as always. Til we sneak out again.”

“See ya,” he smiles and lightly punches your shoulder.

“See ya, dude,” and you head to your house.

When you see him pull off, you lightly close your front door. As you turn around, your soul leaves your body.

“I don’t even want to know,” your mom holds her hand up to silence you. “Phone, now.”

You sigh, but do it.

It seemed that’s what happened with Rodrick, too, so for the rest of the school year you and Rodrick could only contact each other at school. He still snuck over, that wasn't going to stop.

You don’t regret leaving with him that night, because you had never had someone willingly be that close to you.

—

Currently, you’re all huddled up in the hot attic that is his room, but it was the only place without younger kids so you don’t complain much.

“Dude, I thought this year was gonna be it!” Rodrick complains as he lays upside down on his bed.

“Oh, it’s gonna be it, alright,” Ben rolls his eyes and throws a paper ball in Rodricks direction. “It’s going to be the year I finally strangle you if you mention Heather Hills one more time.” We all chuckle at how true it was.

Right now, he wouldn’t shut the fuck up about Heather Hills. Even though you had come in the middle of junior year, it was quick knowledge that he had a crush on her since middle school. At first it was cute, but after some unforeseen circumstances, you actually hated hearing her name. It wasn’t like you had a crush on him (It was), but the fact that she didn’t give him the time of day, and even when she did it was just to make fun of him or to have him do something.

“I second that, it’s fucking annoying,” you push him off the bed, seeing as you were on it right next to him.

“Ow, you dick!” he sits up and rubs his head.

“We’re, like, four months from graduating, if she wanted you, she would’ve said it.”

“Yea but-” Ward cuts him off.

“But nothing, bro, she don’t want your ass.”

It’s what you’ve been telling him this whole time, but you didn’t want to be too pressed about it because you didn’t want him to think you like her. You didn’t like her, you liked the one who liked her. You hadn’t realized it until you saw Heather sweetening him up one time and it hurt to watch– and not in a disgusted way.

You had no idea about your sexuality, you knew you liked boys even before you transitioned, but as you became more comfortable with yourself girls weren’t so bad either. You had been on a few dates with mostly girls (there weren’t many out guys in a small town, who knew?), but no one was Rodrick.

“I mean, I know, subconsciously,” he points to his head, “but she has this way of being in your head, no matter how mean she is.”

“Blah blah blah, bruh we don’t caaaarreee!” You roll your eyes and fall back on his bed. “She’s probably going to, like, Harvard or some shit and gonna marry rich. She doesn’t have time for loser guys like ourselves unless we can do something for her. It’s been that way since middle school, and it’ll be that way til the end of time”

“Major harsh, dude,” Drew pipes up.

“Whatever,” You get up and grab your backpack. “I’m going home, see you bozos tomorrow.”

You know why it bothers you so much, but you didn’t think you went that far. Hell, even Ward said something, but you were the one who was being “major harsh”? You roll your eyes as you stomp off to your house.

“Major harsh, my ass,” you murmur to yourself.

—

Tomorrow comes faster than you’d like. It wasn’t like you blew up on the guys, but you were pissed that you had been shut down. You kind of wanted to avoid them and go straight to class, but when you exit your house you see Rodricks van. The ride to school was pretty quiet except for the “good morning,” you all exchanged amongst yourselves.

“You were right,” Rodrick nudges you. When you give him a confused look, he goes on, “Heather is never gonna want me, and I’m taking myself off the market for other babes.”

“Oh, all those poor girls, saved,” you chuckle. Now you kind of feel bad, “but seriously, my bad if I went too far with what I was saying. I don’t have an excuse for what I said, but I am sorry.”

“Nah, I needed that good kick in the ass so I could wake up. Thanks, bro.” He playfully punches your shoulder.

“No problem, bro.”

As we pull up to school, you see Heather and her friends around their red convertible bug. You didn’t know whose it was, it was passed around more than a blunt in your group. Every morning they were there, and every morning Rodrick went to talk to them, talk to her, like clockwork.

“So are we skipping today, boys?” Rodrick suggests.

In a unison of ‘Hell Yea’s, you were the voice of reason. “Fuck no.”

They all groan, as they usually do when you’re right. We’re walking away from the van as you explain, “Y’all don’t have enough brain cells or credits to afford to skip. If yall want to blow this place, ya gotta graduate. You don’t even have to have honors.”

“Whatever, nerd,” Rodrick shoves you with a chuckle. “You can be a suck up and stay all day, but we’re outta here.”

“You can suck up on my balls, jackass,” you laugh and shove him back.

“You’d love that, wouldn’t you?” he shoves back.

“You’d love that!” but you don’t push him, you look in front of you.

You expected to see the red car, but you saw the stairs. You had passed the car?

You look behind you, and you still see the group talking about someone cheating on someone’s boyfriend, but you notice Heather Hills looking at you.

This wasn’t the first time Rodrick had ignored Heather for you, but that was at lunch. He always talked to her in the morning. You don’t know why, but you knew that this was her last straw.

When you had first moved here, you weren’t on her radar until you had talked to him. She was just standing off to the side and you didn’t realize it then, but he was just talking to her and stopped to talk to you. You could feel her glare, but when you looked at her she gave you a sugary sweet smile. That wasn’t the last time you would see that fake smile, but after this morning you knew it would be.

—

“I don’t know what you told him, but you need to untell him.”

The voice wasn’t unfamiliar to you, but you weren’t used to it being directed at you.

“Hi, Heather, how are you on this beautiful day?” You smile at her, though it was probably closer to a grimace.

“Cut the shit, you heard me.” She growls as you put your stuff in your locker.

“Why does it have to be me saying anything to him? Maybe he actually grew some balls and a brain.”

“You’re like a lost puppy around him, of course you said something.”

“Well, Heather,” you huff as you drop your bag and face her, “he used to follow you around like a lost puppy and I got sick of it because you were using him. I don’t know why it bothered me so much, but it did, so I told him that.”

“I know why,” she leans closer to your face with a whisper. “It’s because you’re a gay little bitch who hopes he looks in your direction but he wouldn’t even spit near you. I see how you look at him, but just remember he looks at me like that.”

“Ok,” you roll your eyes. “Why do you care so much? You admitted several times that you don’t like him.”

“He needs to like me, not the other way around. It gives other guys the idea that they can be with me and I can get gifts out of it. So if you don’t fix this, I can get so much dirt on you it’d make your head spin.”

“I think the bleach fumes are finally getting to your brain,” you scoff, trying not to seem nervous. You didn’t think that she could get to your secret, but that bitch has power in high places. But you had come so far without being outed, so you didn’t think it’d happen this close to your escape. “I don’t know what to tell you. I’m not gonna do that because you’re a bitch who doesn’t deserve any attention.”

She slams your locker in your face, “You’ll regret that.” And as she walks away you roll your eyes and mumble a “bitch”.

She doesn’t even want him, but I can’t have him? Whatever, bitch.

—

You decided to keep your little interaction from Rodrick and the gang because you knew it’d open up a) what she could find on you and b) did Heather actually like Rodrick and she’s lying? You just let them lead the conversation as you try to rationalize with yourself.

How would she find out your trans? You’ve been stealth for a year and your school medical records are locked up tight. She can’t out anything but you being gay and even that was a little chest tightening. At least you’ll still be a man, even if it was a gay one. Being outed as trans could shatter people’s perception of you and you’ll be that weird “girl” again.

“What are you thinking so hard about?” Rodrick asks you and you realize you’re the only two in the van now.

“Nothing, just exhausted. I need to be asleep right now,” you pretend to rub your eyes.

“Whatever you say, dude,” he sighs, but puts his hand on your shoulder and looks you in the eyes. “I’m here whenever you wanna talk, you seem to have a lot on your mind.”

It makes you freeze. It’s not like he isn’t always like this, he’s your best friend, but it doesn’t help after your conversation with Heather. He does this with every guy in the group, he may put on a front of being a dick to his brother, Greg, but he really cares for his friends. You have to convince yourself that this was just that, nothing more.

“Eyes on the road, weirdo,” you shrug his arm off with a nervous laugh. “I told you I was fine, I’m just tired.”

“Ok, dude,” he rolls his eyes.

Before you know it, he drops the rest of the guys off at their houses. You’re usually the last one to get dropped off since more often than not you’re the first one to be picked up. But when Rodrick passes your house, you have more than a few questions.

“Where the hell are you taking me?” You sigh.

“Obviously you won’t tell me what’s actually wrong, so we’re going to hang out til that frown turns upside down!” He smiles as he passes his house, too.

“How did I become friends with such a cornball? Aren’t you supposed to be the resident bad boy, go back to that.”

“You know you love me,” he smirks.

More than you know, that’s the reason I’m in this mess! You almost say, but stick with, “Sure, whatever you say.”

You know exactly what he’s going to do, you guys do it every time one of y’all are going through it. Head to the gas station to get slushies and snacks, then go out to your favorite clearing in the woods. He even does it with Greg sometimes, even though he likes to act like he hates his younger brothers.

“Isn’t the point of a slushy to mix all of the flavors together?” Rodrick rolls his eyes.

“We have this conversation every time we come here, I get two flavors that compliment each other! All of those flavors confuse your mouth and you lose taste buds.”

“You lie just like my mother, which means you lie like shit.” And for that you slap his shoulder. “OW!”

“Don’t talk about Susan like that!” You say, jokingly offended. You go to hit him again, but he grabs your hand.

“You’re a fucking nut case.”

“OMG!” You hear an all too familiar voice excitedly yelp. “I thought I heard your voice!”

“Oh, hey Heather.” Rodick turns to talk to her, forgetting to let go of your hand. “What are you doing in here?”

“My friends wanted to stop in here to get some junk.” She waves her hand behind her and rolls her eyes. “I obviously don’t eat stuff like that, I mean, look at me.” Rodrick doesn’t even glance down when she motions at herself.

“Good for you, me and (Y/N) are actually in here for some snacks, too.”

She finally looks at you, and then at you and Rodricks combined hands. You squirm under her stare and take your hand out of Rodricks. He looks at you in seeming confusion, but doesn’t say anything.

“I didn’t see you there, hey (Y/N)!” She has a smile on her face, but you can see in her eyes the amount of hatred she has for you.

“Hey, Heather…” You almost whisper, and then turn to seem busy with your slushy.

“Well, we should get out of here, bye Heather.”

“Oh, yeah, I think my friends went back to the car, so I should head out, too.” She turns to leave, but looks back over her shoulder and waves seductively. “Bye, Rodrick!”

When you hear the front door bell ring, you finally release the breath you had been holding in. “Holy shit,” you whisper to yourself.

“What was that?” Rodrick turns to you with a smile and points behind him. “She’s never willingly came up to me unless she needs something. And she just wanted…conversation?”

“Your guess is as good as mine,” You paint on a smirk even though your heart is racing. She had seen you with Rodrick, holding hands (completely his fault!), and he couldn’t be any less interested in her! You just know your fate is sealed.

“Well, let’s get this shit paid for and go.” He grabs up your food and you grab the slushies.

With everything paid for, you guys hop back into the van and head into the trail a few blocks down. It wasn’t anything official, but you hadn’t gotten in trouble for being out here, so yall just kept going.

You park the van and head into the back, opening the doors for some fresh air.

“So are you ready to tell me what’s up?” Rodrick asks after a few sips of his slushy abomination.

“I told you that I’m just exhausted.” You keep up your front.

“And I told you that you lie like my mom,” he sighs. “So you might as well just spill it.”

“It’s just something that me and my family have to deal with, you don’t have to worry about it!” You know if you bring your family into it, he’ll stop pushing it because he knows your parents don’t play.

“Ok, ok, I’ll let it go.” He raises his hand in defense.

You don’t respond, and you guys are submerged into silence once again. You exchange looks when you don’t think the other is looking, but besides that you take in the forest around you.

Heather could never experience these moments with Rodrick and understand how precious it is. Rodrick has always been the weird “bad boy” (people literally only say this because of his clothes and that makes you roll your eyes) who some of the girls wanted but if it got out they did like him, they’d be made fun of. You see how some of the girls look at him when he isn’t looking, and it hurts your heart. You know they have more of a chance than you ever would.

But with you, he was never like this. He was the goofy, caring friend who’d drop everything if you said the word. Heather only sees him as an object that gives her affection, but you see him as he truly is; a guy who loves and just wants it back. He just wants to be seen.

“Y’know you’re my best friend, right?” You blurt before you can think about it.

“Only took you a year to be genuine about it,” he nudges your shoulder.

“What?”

“The ferris wheel.” He states like you’re just supposed to know. And you do.

“You still remember that?” You gape.

“Anyway, yes I am your best friend, just like how you’re mine.” He grins at you, and then he drops it, “you’re not planning anything are you?”

“Oh my god, a guy can’t express his appreciation for his best friend?” You throw your hands up.

“I’m watching you,” he squints his eyes and points at you.

You get a text from your mom wondering where you are, and that’s the end of your little outing with Rodrick.

When he drops you home, Heather is the furthest thing from your mind, even though you know holding Rodricks hand (even though it wasn’t even purposely!) would be a slight against you.

—

Over the next two weeks, Heather's empty threat went to the back burner of your mind. If she wanted to out you, it would’ve happened by now. I’m safe, you sighed in relief.

Rodrick continued not to go up to her in the morning, but if she talked to him he definitely talked back. It seemed to calm her attitude toward you now, but it still was a hot seat around her. Like now, she’s passing around flyers for her party this weekend and intentionally passed by you.

“Rodrick, you’re definitely coming to my party this weekend, right?” She bats her eyelashes. “I need your band Soiled Diper to play!”

“It’s Löded Diper,” you correct and she glares at you, “and when have you ever wanted us to play anywhere near you?”

“Us?” She scoffs at you. “I just want the main band, not some wannabe.”

“Woah,” Rodrick stops her. “(Y/N) is an actual part of the band, so no him, no band.”

“Him? If that’s what you wanna say, sure.” And to the untrained ear it could just be her upset that he isn’t going along to exclude you, but you know what she means. As you perk up and look in her eyes, she’s already looking at you with a knowing smirk.

She knows. FUCK how does she know?

“I’m fine with not going, Rod,” you try to sway him. This cannot be fucking happening.

“No, it’s either all of us or none of us.”

Of course now he wants to be a fucking hero right now. He doesn’t get that this is social suicide FOR ME! Social homicide? Not important right now.

“Ok,” she has that sugary sweet fake smile. “Don’t come, then. Remember what I said.”

That last part was for you, you know it, and your blood runs cold. Fuck.

The rest of the day you’re on the edge of your seat, thinking what she might do. How the fuck did she even find out? You weren’t on social media much pre-transition, so barely any photos of you before exist. And like you said, your medical records were locked up tight.

Whatever, you try to convince yourself. She won’t do anything! She would’ve already.

You make it home with no one running around talking about your biggest secret, so your anxiety has allowed you to breathe again.

You decide to finally talk to your mom about this because who else will understand?

“You’re right to be afraid, but you’re also right about her doing it when she finally found something on you.” Your mom rubs your hair as you lay in her lap.

“It’s like I can’t get into her mind and I seriously want to. Like what is she planning?” Your thoughts literally won’t shut up. You haven’t had to worry about stuff like this for close to 2 years, and now its like your whole world is about to collapse

“For her sake, I hope nothing because I’m not above beating a little girl's ass!” And you know she’s being for real. Your mom doesn’t play around.

“Mom,” you roll your eyes.

“So, she thinks you like Rodrick…What’s up with that?”

“You know the answer if you’re asking,” you sigh.

“Do you want any advice on that? I say you should go for it.” Your mom shrugs.

“Absolutely not, because if this does come out I don’t want him weirded out by me being trans and gay.” You don’t even know if you are gay gay, but you know it’d make you that if you ask him out.

“I think you’re safe, but if something does blow, I’m in your corner.” She holds up her fist playfully to show it.

“Thank you, Mom.” You finally felt at peace with the whole thing. You trust your mom and feel like it will all blow over.

If only you knew.

The next morning, you walk with a pep in your step. You decide to walk to school, texting Rodrick you didn’t need a ride. It took a little longer to walk than drive, so you knew they’d beat you there.

When you finally showed up, people were staring at you, but it didn’t bother you much. People looked at you and the gang weirdly all the time, it just happened. It was when you finally made your way inside that all hell broke loose.

Random whispers were rampant through the hall, but when you walked by it would stop. Whatever, they were probably just talking about what you were wearing like always. You shrugged and went to find the guys.

You were right in front of them in the cafeteria and about to speak when that sugary voice stopped you, “Hey, [Redacted]!” It exclaimed.

You could’ve thrown up right then and there. You whip around to face Heather, “What the hell did you just call me?”

“Should I tell her or are you guys going to be good friends?”

“Guys, what is she talking about?” You turn to them and the look on their faces say it all.

They Know. Everyone knows.

Ben turns his phone around and you have to will yourself to not spill your breakfast out onto the concrete. It’s a screenshot from one of your parents' private Facebooks from two or three years ago with a title that stated your deadname.

The “girl” in the picture was going to homecoming, and it was obvious that it was you. Your face was softer, caked with makeup, and your hair was longer. The caption had your name and said that you were indeed going to homecoming.

“This picture was private, how the fuck?” You were whispering to yourself. You’re frozen in place, you can’t look anywhere but Ben’s phone.

“How could you hide this from your friends?” Heather fake gasps. “Pretending to be a boy? Going into the boys bathroom and locker room? What a freak!” and her whole group laughs. When you didn’t respond, she kept going, “Like, can you guys believe it? She’s pretending to be a boy to get close to you, and I even heard she had a little crush on one of you!”

That made you bark out a sob. Holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit holy-

“It’s crazy! Right, Rodrick?” and that snaps you out of it.

You glance at him, and he looks angry. Probably at you for lying to him. You darted away, looking for an exit because all you can think about is going home. You hear your name called after you, but you don’t care.

—

“What the hell are you doing home? Classes literally just started.” Your mom asks as she’s cuddled up with your dad. You don’t answer her, and just run up to your room, sobbing.

“Woah, woah woah, hey!” They get up to go after you.

When you get to your room, you don’t close your door knowing they’re after you. You shut your phone down and just throw yourself onto your bed, trying to stop your tears.

“Son, what’s wrong? What happened at school?” My dad knocks on the open door.

“Heather Hills,” you say through your pillow. Even if your dad didn’t get it, your mom did.

“She didn’t…”

“She did though, Mom!” You cry out, turning to face them. “She outed me to the whole school! She somehow found one of your Facebooks, got into it and found an old picture of me going to homecoming, and she shared it with the whole school!”

“Are you serious?” Your dad balls up his fist.

“Not only that, but she said that I was pretending to be a guy! Said I was doing it to get close to Rodrick, basically told him I liked him, and made me seem like this big ass weirdo!”

“We need to do something about this,” your mom says, and she sounds pissed. “This has to be some sort of harassment!”

“Your mother is right, we need to contact the school-”

“NO, please,” you start. “What’s done is done, I don’t want this bigger than it is!”

“(Y/N)!-”

“Mom, please listen to me!” You’re exasperated at this point. “Heather has the whole school behind her. Her parents are RICH, so if we try to do anything, it’ll just make everything worse!”

“I don’t give a fuck about her parents! She hurt my baby and she needs to be held accountable!”

“I don’t want to be in the middle of any more drama!” You groan. “I just want to figure this out quietly and on my own. I don’t want to talk to anyone about it and I just want to be left alone!”

“Ok, ok,” your dad sighs and puts a hand on your head. “If that’s what you want, we won’t push it,” he turns to your mom, “won’t we?”

“Yea, I guess,” she rolls her eyes, but gives a weak smile. “But at any point you need any help or she does anything else, we’re in your corner.”

“Thank you for understanding.”

“Get some rest, son,” your dad pats your shoulder. “You look like you need it.”

“I’ll try.”

But you knew you weren’t going to be able to sleep. You avoid your phone because you didn’t want to be contacted by anyone, but especially Rodrick. You didn’t want to know his disgust with you, didn’t want to know how much he thought that Heather was right.

Without the distraction of your phone, your room and the house was too quiet. You could hear your parents downstairs, trying not to be angry about your situation and watching television. Your mind keeps replaying you looking at Ben’s phone, ears ringing in anger and worry. You’re so horrified, afraid you’ve lost all of your friends. You were supposed to graduate without anyone finding out. What was the point of a fresh start if you were just gonna have to deal with all that you wanted to avoid at your old home?

You hear someone knock on your front door, and even being that far away from it you heard Rodricks voice. This time you can’t stop your stomach from lurching and you run to the bathroom.

As you flush the toilet, you hear the door close and footsteps up the stairs. That makes you pray on the bathroom floor to anything that could hear you to not make you talk to him yet.

“Hey, baby, you alright?” Your mom’s voice fills you with relief and seems to calm your stomach.

“No,” you say truthfully. You didn’t feel like lying right now, “I feel like everything is over for me.”

“You heard him, didn’t you?”

“Not what he said, but I heard his voice,” you admit.

“Then I think you should answer your phone.” And with that, she leads you back to your room, kisses your forehead, and goes back downstairs.

—

You don’t turn your phone back on until the next day. You still felt sick, and no matter how much you tried to eat you just couldn’t. You stayed home from school and your parents didn’t argue, but they still had to go out for work. Not a full trip, but they had to go to the next town over.

You had less messages than you thought you would, but it’s still crazy. Drew, Ward, Chris, Ben, and even Bill messaged you, but you didn’t care about all of them because one name caught your eye. Rodrick.

It was four messages; are you home??, answer me!, i’m coming over. were the first three, but the last message was a video.

It starts staring at the floor, and then it’s pointed to a group of people. You can make out you, the gang, and Heather behind you. You take off running, but the recording doesn’t stop there.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Rodrick stands up and gets in Heather's face.

“What?” she laughs in disbelief.

“You heard what I said!”

“Are you seriously defending her over me? I thought you liked me?!” You can hear the fakeness in her voice.

“That was before you decided to spread lies about my friend! He has done nothing to you!” the emphasis on the “he” makes your eyes widen. “You’re gonna stop talking shit about my best friend to my face! You’re such a fake bitch! I don’t know how I ever liked you…”

“Don’t tell me you’re seriously picking her over me? You must be more homo than her to like that wannabe boy.”

“Are you fucking serious?” The rest of the guys pipe up and start to surround Heather.

“He is a guy, and if you think anything other than it, you must be stupider than I thought,” Ben steps up.

“And so what if I like him? Just know I don’t like you, not anymore.” Rodrick is the angriest you’ve ever seen him, it’s kind of hot scary.

“Whatever, you’re all just losers. Lets go,” she turns and walks off with her crew.

That’s where the video ends.

You couldn’t stop rewatching it in amazement. He had stood up to Heather Hills for you without hesitation. Had said he liked you to Heather Hills. To basically the entire school, if this video has already gone around.

You debate whether or not you wanted to talk to him, but your need for your best friend wins over your need to hide. You slip on your shoes and head out.

You live a little over 5 minutes away from Rodrick even though he drives you guys everywhere. You know you could’ve told him to come over to your house, but it’s nice to finally get some fresh air. Plus, his mom was always nice to see when you went over his house.

When you get there, you see his van parked in the driveway near the garage. You have to hype yourself up to knock on the front door, but once you do it’s like a wave of nausea comes crashing over you.

I can’t do this, oh my god. What have I-

Before you can finish your thoughts, the door opens. You half expect it to be Rodrick, but it’s just Greg.

“Hey, kid.” You do a little wave as if you haven’t met him before. Whenever you come over, you tend to see Greg and Rowley, too. Most of the time they’re just in the living room, but they sometimes come up to the attic just to get chewed out by Rodrick, especially when it’s just you two up there.

“Hey, (Y/N),” he smiles, “where’ve you been?”

“Yknow.” You wring your hands. “Around.”

You can barely get words out. Does Greg know? Did Rodrick tell his family about what his best friend is?

“Rodrick should be upstairs in his room.” Greg moves out of the way so you can step into the house. “He’s been moping up there since yesterday, I don’t even think he’s left it today.”

“He didn’t go to school?” It’s not surprising, he’s always skipping, but you know it’s because of what went down yesterday.

“Nope,” Greg shakes his head. “Look, I don’t know what happened between you guys, because he only acts like this when he can’t see you, but I think you guys will work it out. It’s like me and Rowley, just less romantical.”

“W-what-” you sputter out. “I don’t-”

“Sure, whatever you want to tell yourself.” Greg cuts you off with an eye roll. “Like I said, he’s upstairs.”

“Thanks, kid.” Your face is on fire.

And with that, you mount the stairs to the attic. Is your crush on Rodrick really that obvious that even his family can see it? And with the way Greg was talking it seems to be reciprocated. You heard it come out of Rodrick’s own mouth, but what if he just said that so Heather could leave you alone?

You’re in front of his door before you can finish your thoughts. You knock, ready to get this over with.

“Mom, I told you I’ll be ok, just leave me alone!” You hear him call out.

“Not your mom, last time I checked.” You say, a soft smile grows on your face from hearing his voice.

You hear him leap up off of his bed and trip over something, but it doesn’t seem to phase him as he runs to open the door.

“(Y/N),” he breathes out.

“Hey,” you can barely look him in the face. “Can I come in?”

“Yea, yea, come in!” He pulls you through the door.

Once in his room, it’s like you’ve never set foot in it. You don’t know what to do, where to sit. It all feels new to you for some reason.

“Dude, just sit down somewhere.” Rodrick laughs at your newfound confusion.

You decide to sit on his bed, which you do every time you come over. You and Rodrick always sit on opposite ends of the bed so you can look at each other, which this time is no different.

You just sit there, staring at each other. You decide to break the ice. “It’s true, all of it. I don’t know how Heather got that picture, but I was a girl for most of my life up until now. Please, don’t hate me.”

“I’m not going to lie, it made me mad that I had to find out through Heather Hills,” he sighs, “but then again it’s none of my business. You were doing it to protect yourself, so I get it and I don’t have a right to be mad. I could never hate you over something like that though.”

You just sit there with your mouth open. You knew subconsciously that he couldn’t have hated you, but you had grown up hearing all the hatred people had for people like you. You had no choice to be on the defense when coming over here, no matter what you heard.

“I just-” You start. “I just, I know you’re my best friend, and I should’ve trusted you with this, but I couldn’t. I’ve never had anyone but my parents know. Their families don’t even know, that’s the whole reason we moved here.”

“Would you have ever told me?” He asks, kind of quiet.

“Maybe.” You shrug honestly. “I was too worried about trying to survive high school without a slip up to think that far ahead.”

“Oh,” is all he answers.

It’s another drowning silence. You’ve never had an awkward silence in your entire friendship, this is freaking you out.

“Did you watch the video I sent you?” Rodrick speaks up.

“Yea, it was the first thing I saw when I turned my phone back on.” Another beat of silence. “It was the only reason I came over here to talk to you.”

“Did you watch the whole thing?”

“Only a hundred times,” you smile evilly. “I love watching that barbie wannabe get put in her place.”

“Yea, that was great to do,” his voice lowers, “but that’s not what I was talking about.”

“I know.” You whisper and look him in the eyes.

You just sit there staring at each other, and then Rodrick looks down at your lips. It was so quick you could’ve missed it if you blinked, but you saw it. Just go for it.

“Are you going to kiss me, or just think about it?” You try to sound confident, but it ends up a quiet squeak.

His eyes widen, but he begins to inch over to you until you’re pressed up against each other. “Is this okay?” His whisper tickles your lips.

You just nod, eyes never leaving his. You don’t know who leans in first, but your lips are together in a flash. Your grip on his shirt is tight, as if when you let go it’ll all disappear. Your mouths almost move in unison, like you’re trying to devour the other. You can barely breath, feeling like this isn’t real. You dreamed about this moment for so long and now that it’s here it’s like you’re ascending.

You are the one who pulls away first, needing to breathe. Rodrick doesn’t seem like he wants to stop, kissing down your jaw to your neck. While you're breathing softly, you hear a knock at his door. That doesn’t stop Rodrick though.

“Rodrick,” you breath out as a warning.

“Hm,” he hums indifferently. Before you both know it, his door opens.

“Rodrick, you need to leave this- OH MY GOD!” His mother screams out.

“MOM!” Rodrick jumps away from you in fear and shock.

You’re all just stuck looking at both of them staring at each other before you break the silence.

“Hey, Ms. Susan…”

After that you are put through a lecture with his mom and dad. You guys can’t be upstairs alone without Greg being a buffer, door open at all times even with the other guys there. They, of course, texted your parents about what they found so that's gonna be fun to go home to. But you felt like none of that mattered because you got what you wanted. You didn’t lose your friends, and you even gained a boyfriend.

He offers to drive you home, which you take because you want to be close to him for a little longer. So you wave goodbye to his parents and get into the van.

You hold hands on the way to your house.

—

“We’re glad you decided to come back to school,” Rodrick squeezes your hand. “It’s been so boring.”

“First of all, I was gone one day,” you roll your eyes in fake annoyance. “And second of all, you literally didn’t even go yesterday!”

“But it’s always boring whenever I don’t get to see you, baby.” He wiggles his shoulders against yours.

All the guys groan in fake disgust. “Yall are so corny, break up already.” Ben gags.

“I didn’t even say anything!” You throw your hands up, taking one of Rodricks hands with you.

“Cringe by association.” And you roll your eyes in true annoyance.

“Are you sure you’re ready to go back?” Rodrick interrupts. “We could just go back to your house and hang out for the day.”

“I’m sure you’d love that,” you shove his arm, “but if I keep skipping, it’ll be like she won. Plus I’m not losing my straight A streak because of that bimbo.”

“Fine,” he huffs. “I can’t wait for the last day, school is so boring.”

“I thought without me it was boring?” You raise an eyebrow.

“You know what I mean.” He kisses your cheek.

“Yuck,” one of the guys laughs out behind your back.

“Shut the fuck up so we can get this day over with.” You flip them off.

You’re, of course, joking because you know you couldn’t have gone through this without them. After your talk with Rodrick, you all had a group hangout and talked through all of this. They let you know the whole time that they were 100% on your side. They were your boys and you were theirs.

Maybe the rest of the year won't be hell. You got the guy, smited the girl, and even if you were outed, you had all the friends you needed with you already. You were going to be fine.

[whimsiwitchy]

I hear the secrets that you keep (series)

chapter one: a new beginning

Pedro Pascal x F!reader 

series masterlist

series summary: 24 year old y/n is an insecure and struggling actress in Los Angeles until she finally books a leading role in a big Hollywood movie next to her leading male, Pedro Pascal. A spark of friendship flickers between the two and it slowly begins to blossom into something more. As y/n is navigating a new found fame and a new found romance, she fears that a lie she has been sitting on might ruin everything.

Warnings: plus size reader (no specific description of reader, slight descriptions of weight: stomach fat, stretch marks, etc.), hefty age gap (24 years/14 years), female anatomy description, she/her pronouns, use of gendered terms (girl, girly, etc.), y/n used, descriptions of nudity, swearing,  use of the word fat, warnings may change as the story progresses. 

authors note: Hi everyone. This is my first time writing anything, so this might end up being pretty bad lmao. I kinda have an idea of where I want to take this and want to continue this even if no one reads it. Please let me know what you think! Thank you and enjoy. <3

chapter summary: Angie books y/n an audition opportunity and she is terrified. Y/n reflects on her insecurities and heads to the audition room. 

╔══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╗

It was 9am and you’ve been staring at an email Angie had sent earlier in the morning. The subject read “AUDITION INFO BIATCH”. This would usually be deemed pretty unprofessional for an agent to send a client but Angie wasn’t just  your agent, she was also your long time best friend. You both had big dreams of making it big in Los Angeles and made the move six years ago. While you continued to search for acting jobs, Angie decided to become an agent after years of no luck. You wished you could give up, maybe gain some happiness back instead of having constant disappointment running around your head like it was trying to win a goddamn gold medal at the olympics. 

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

Good morning sunshine, 

You have an audition scheduled for 3PM tomorrow! I attached all the details down below. If you need anything, give me a call babe! 

Sincerely, 

Angie Hawthorn (aka the best agent ever hehe) 

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

You read over the email and clicked on the files attached. One file was the original casting call information describing what they are looking for and a description of the project. The other was an audition offer explaining what you needed to prepare and where the audition would be held. You clicked on the casting call file and began to read it. 

“Fleeting Productions presents Risky Disco directed by Samual James.”

You stared blankly at the first sentence. “That is such a stupid fucking move title..” you huffed under your breath. You shook your head and continued reading. 

“Starring Pedro Pascal as Daniel Mendez. Daniel travels back in time to the 70s to live his dream of being a disco king. On his journey, he takes lovers every chance he gets and swears to himself that he won’t fall in love.” 

You picked your phone and called Angie. When she answers the phone she greets you with excitement.

“Y/n! Oh my god are you excited?!? This can be your big break. Your first audition for a big production company!!” You stared blankly at the wall while she spoke. “You’re fucking with me right? Like you have to actually be fucking with me..” You said with exasperation. She was silent for a moment. “What do you mean? This is great y/n. I’m not sure-” You cut her off before she could continue. “Angie, I need you to be so fucking for real right now. Did you read that shit show of a description?” She didn’t answer for a moment. “What’s so bad about it?” “Ang…you’re telling me, you saw this casting call, and thought of me? You have known me for how long? What about me is screaming 70s lover girl to a disco maniac? First of all, I'm fat. You know F A T. Fat girls don’t exist in the 70s it’s like-” The line goes dead. “Hello? Ang I’m trying to rant to you over here, don’t you care?” You looked down and noticed she hung up on you. “That stupid bitch.” You say in aggravation. As you go to call her again, a text pops up.

“Call me when you’re done being a self shaming loser <3”

You sighed and sat your phone down. You know that what you say isn’t always nice and you also know that Angie can’t stand when you talk down on yourself. It’s become a bad habit you can’t seem to break. You grab your water bottle from your night stand, take a sip, and continue to read over the audition information. 

“Our casting directors are looking for 12 women from the ages 35-40. All weights accepted. All skin tones accepted. One role will be filled as the leading lady alongside the leading male. The 11 other roles will be filled as lovers of the leading male. Each role may include sexual acts with a male actor as well as partial or full nudity. All actors will work closely with an intimacy coach before all scenes.” 

Okay, you definitely owe Angie an apology since they're throwing a weight limit out the window on this film. This film has the potential to be very… wait what the fuck does that say? You pick up your phone to call Angie again. 

“Are you done being a loser?” 

“Angie, honey, darling, my love…Why does it say that the age requirements are 35-40? I’m trying to be very calm about this right now but I really need to know what you were thinking in that little pea brain of yours? Hm.. a 24 year old auditioning for a role that is for a middle aged woman, what was the thought process behind that one love?” 

“Y/n I need you to keep that calm demeanor when I tell you this. Can you do that?” You think about your answer and sigh. “Yes I can do that. Spill the beans.” “Okay so, I might have sort of lied and said that you were 35…” You stood silent on the other end for a few seconds. “YOU DID WHAT???” “Y/n calm down it-” “HOW IN THE WORLD IS MY FRESH 24 YEAR OLD BABY FACE GOING TO PRETEND TO BE 35?? HUH ANGIE??” “Well you don’t have that much of a baby face, you can pull off 35.” “I’m gonna hang up now before I actually kick you in the head.” You hung up the phone and screamed into your pillow. 

It can’t be that hard to pretend to be 35 right? You sat up and set your head in your hands and took some deep breaths. 

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

After your mini freak out yesterday you went to work and got home at 8pm. You showered, ate, did some rehearsing, and hit the hay. You woke up at 7am the next morning and began getting ready for your audition. You searched pinterest to look for an appropriate outfit for a 35 year old. As you descaled your closet, you began to feel hopeless. After settling for an outfit, you headed to the kitchen to eat some breakfast and do some warmups. As it got closer to audition time, you started to feel the nervous butterflies entering your tummy. You took your phone off the charger to send Angie a quick text. 

“I’m sorry for freaking out on you yesterday, please forgive me my love. ♥ ️ Also OOTD, do I look 35? Oh and why the fuck are they casting that age for a disco movie… Love you!” You went to sit your phone down but immediately got a response from Angie. 

“It’s okay, you don’t look a day under 40 babe <3. And girl idk. I think it’s because Pedro is pushing 50.” 

“Okay fuck you. Who’s Pedro?” 

“Ummmm… the leading male. Like the whole ass dude you're probably going to be getting down and dirty with if you get this part. Did you not look him up?” 

“There ain’t no fucking way you lied about my age so I can bump and grind with a 50 year old man… I’m actually going to kill you.”

“Girl he’s hot as fuck, I’m doing you a favor. Who gives a shit if he's old, he can get it ANY day ;)” 

“You’re fucking gross dude. I gotta head out soon to try to beat a little bit of the traffic. Wish me luck. Love you!!”

“Love you girly, break a leg!”

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

You turned into the studio lot and parked when you found the building the auditions were being held in. You’ve been to the studios more times than you can count, but this time felt different. This time felt real. You entered the building and walked up to a woman at a desk. “Hi, I’m here for an audition.” You smiled and she handed you a form to fill out. Once you were finished you handed it back to her and she instructed you to wait until your name was called. You looked around as you sat and waited. There were only 4 other women waiting in the room. As you looked at them, all of your insecurities started to pour out. This was not the time to be doubting yourself. You settled on looking down at your shoes instead. Each woman was called back one by one until you were the only one left. 

“Y/n Y/l/n?” You got up and greeted the man that called your name. As you followed him to the back your heart began to pound. Once you got to the door, you shook out your nerves and plastered the most sincere smile you could muster. 

You opened the door and walked up to a table in the back of the room. You shook everyone's hands and handed them your material. You stood in the center of the room and began your slate. After the prepared material was performed, they asked you various questions. You were answering with all honesty. Even flying by their questioning of your age. “Your paper states that you're 35. You look really young for that age.” You gulped “Just good genes I guess.” You gave them a laugh and a smile to which they returned. “We’re going to have to do a quick reading with some sides from the movie if that’s okay with you?” “Of course, that would be great!”.

You got into character as they handed you the slides. “You’ll actually be reading with the leading man himself. Pedro, whenever you’re ready go ahead and start.” You looked over to where the man looked when he spoke. Your breath caught in your throat as you looked at who they spoke to, Pedro you assumed. He smirked as you stared. How didn’t you notice him before? With a face that handsome, you’re thankful you somehow skipped over it. He for sure would have had you shaking with even more nerves. 

“You ready to start sweetheart?” You could have melted into a puddle right then and there. After a few seconds of silence you collected yourself. “Yea, I’m ready.” He gave you a smile and looked into your eyes. The two of you flowed through the lines with ease. It was like butter melting perfectly on a warm piece of toast. The type of toast that is so perfect, you don’t need to add jelly at all. It’s golden and beautiful. The chemistry between you two was golden. 

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

4 hours later…

The reading with Pedro was intense. There are no other words to describe it. Everything felt so natural and it was electric. The whole room got 10 degrees warmer by the end. Once the reading was over, everyone thanked you for your time and you were dismissed. You thanked them and gave a quick bye. You tried to sneak one last glance at Pedro but he was already looking at you. These memories that happened just a few hours prior keep swimming in your head. No matter how hard you tried to think about something else, you couldn’t stop thinking about the handsome man and how he looked at you.

You’re yanked out of your thoughts when your phone starts ringing. It was Angie. 

“Hey Ang, what’s up?” 

“Bitch….you must have left one hell of an impression.” 

“What are you talking about?” 

“Y/n you got the lead!” 

“Oh shit..” 

╚══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╝ 

Thank you for reading <3

chapter two

[wellgreathereiam]

What a twisted up question! I do like being recognized for who I am by others, I like seeing my body change and the change in my inner self that comes with it, I like how the same clothes and mannerisms play differently on my body as I transition and how I can express new aspects of myself comfortably for the first time.

For myself, the way I see it, I want the chance to embody my masculinity and I want to be recognized as a man by others. Both of those aspects of my life bring me happiness. Hrt is a tool in my box for those purposes. So does my desire to be recognized for my masculinity by others mean that I've been transitioning for others or their acceptance? No, absolutely not. Hah! Nope.

People get that I am a man, and I love that, but others are often distressed, off put, and mad at me for the way I subvert their expectations of how men are "supposed to" act. And honestly I love that too, die mad, my masculinity can't be invalidated by their patriarchal expectations of men because my masculinity could only happen in my lifetime by rejecting those beliefs! Hah!

Saw a post talking about their transmasc character. how he was comfortable with the body he has and doesn't want to change it or his presentation to be a real guy, but the world doesn't see it that way and it made him sad.

I didn't hate my body before I started T but so many people thought that I was a girl because of my high voice and ratty stache that I felt like I needed to? Like it would make it so less people would misgender me. it makes me mad to think about how my parents won't accept me now that I'm taking T and half of the reason why I'm on T isn't even for myself.

So now I'm wondering if what I wanted was deep voice and bushy stache or societal acceptance.

Does anyone have any advice or something they could share that might help me? 🥺

[meandgene]

I’m participating in locktober this year as my mistress @prickletemptress has locked me in my cage for the month. If this post gets a hundred likes I’ll be locked for the entire month of November for NNN. The reason for this post is to show appreciation for the month of locktober and my mistress for why I became such a slutty sissy girl.

1, it was at first part of my hypno kink, but since, I’ve explored and enjoyed it separately, it allowed me to be free about my sexuality.

2, it allowed me to find my first gf and owner @prickletemptress, for whom I love to serve and obey and please to the highest degree.

3, it allowed me to accept parts of me and be allowed to share this experience with others and help others along the journey to becoming a better sissy.

4, ultimately at the end of the day I love being able to be a super slutty girl and show that gender norms can go f themselves as we are people and should be able to express ourselves as we see fit, and not conform to the silly societal standards we often stay subservient too.

Heck I’m sure if this post gets even more than 100 likes, my mistress may extend it further and further. Let’s see if she decides that. Hope you all have a good fantastic day and if you’re also doing locktober, I wish you luck fellow chastity slut. Love y’all see y’all soon.

Edit: Reblogs would be appreciated as they will count as well to the count of a hundred, so per 100 I believe is a month caged, so go at it people, ruin this clitty of mine please?

[bitchy-craft]

Which Disney Princess You Are | Pick A Pile

Hello and welcome to this Pick A Pile! In here you'll find out which Disney Princess you are. I hope you guys enjoy and find this useful. Do make sure to leave comments down below on your experience! I do want to remind you all that this is a General Pick A Pile which means this is for a lot of people; therefore keep what resonates and leave what doesn't.

Masterlist > Questions > Paid Readings

Pick A Pile!

Pile 1:

Belle is known for her intelligence, curiosity, and love for reading. She is kind, compassionate, and independent-minded, often seen as different from the villagers due to her interests. Belle values inner beauty and is willing to look beyond appearances.

Throughout her journey, Belle learns to see beyond the surface and discover the goodness within people. She teaches the Beast to be kind and open-hearted, and in return, she finds love and understanding. Belle's story emphasizes the importance of valuing inner qualities over external appearances and the power of empathy in changing hearts.

Pile 2:

Mulan is courageous, determined, and resourceful. She is willing to defy societal norms to protect her family and bring honor to them. She is skilled in combat and is willing to sacrifice herself for the greater good.

Mulan's journey involves disguising herself as a man to join the army and fight in her father's place. Through her experiences, she learns about self-discovery and empowerment. She proves that women are just as capable as men and that bravery comes in many forms. Her story teaches the value of authenticity, breaking gender stereotypes, and standing up for what is right.

Pile 3:

Tiana is hardworking, ambitious, and determined to achieve her dreams. She is a skilled cook and aspires to open her own restaurant. Tiana values dedication and doesn't believe in relying solely on luck or magic.

Tiana's journey involves being transformed into a frog and navigating the challenges of the bayou with Prince Naveen. Throughout her adventure, she learns that while hard work is important, it's also essential to make time for the things that truly matter, like love, friendship, and enjoying life. Tiana's story teaches the importance of finding a balance between pursuing one's dreams and embracing the joys of life along the way.

Pile 4:

Rapunzel is known for her curiosity, creativity, and optimism. Having spent her entire life in a tower, she possesses a strong desire to explore the world beyond. She is also an accomplished artist and has a strong sense of empathy and kindness.

Rapunzel's journey begins when she leaves her tower and encounters the charming thief Flynn Rider. As she embarks on an adventure to see the floating lanterns, Rapunzel learns about self-discovery, independence, and the complexity of the outside world. She realizes that she has the strength to make her own decisions and determine her destiny, even in the face of challenges and unfamiliar situations. Through her relationship with Flynn and her interactions with various characters, Rapunzel learns about trust, friendship, and the importance of following one's heart.

[azulcrescent]

When I stumbled across I want to be a cute anime girl in 2020, I was in a really dark, unsure, and scary part of my life where I was questioning my gender and you helped me so much. you helped me feel validated and seen. helped me see that there's like, trans women outside of the "stereotypical" trans journey you see in media and in the news, at least at the time. you've honestly helped me all these years and I want to thank you.

I'm sorry if this is a bit rambly I don't really know how to put these thoughts into words ;-;

No worries! You weren't rambly at all! your ask/post made me very happy to read about my comic so thank you for letting me know! Good luck with your journey! ^^

[genderqueerdykes]

I'm a trans masculine person, yet I still wear feminine clothes. I don't know if I'm still considered "trans" to cis people, and my own mother (cis) questioned if I was going to be an actual "man." I'm so confused, and I need help trying to explain my gender identity to people, especially her.

~Jace~

thats rude as hell. why is that any of her business. why do you have to prove your manhood ?

that is very bizarre behavior. honestly i would tell her that it's literally not her business and you do not have to prove anything to her. you are allowed to dress in whatever ways make you comfortable. cisgender men wake up and wear the exact same clothes every day and their manhood is not brought into question. only when the man is trans do people really get up our asses.

there's no dress code for being a man. there's no dress code for being trans. also she doesn't know what it's like to try to pass as a man. it's not always easy. people are nosy. people love to bully butch people. people love to harass transmascs for dressing "TOO" masc. this isn't any of her business. honestly tell her you aren't questioning her gender, so why does she feel the need to do it to you? like seriously, what reason could there possibly be. her gender is not under attack. your gender is none of her business. that is slightly creepy but also deeply unnecessary behavior

also transition comes in steps. you can't jump straight to the end all at once that defeats the purpose. part of transition is enjoying the journey. it's allowing yourself to change in small ways and enjoy the things about yourself you may not have been able to embrace before. it's seriously okay to take it slow and go at your own pace. when i came out to my family my sister did the exact same thing. she told me "if you want to be seen as a man, you have to act like one." and forced me to shovel the snow in the back yard that had accumulated from a blizzard.

people should not be prying this deep and forcing trans mascs and men to prove that we're mascs and men. for. some reason. you don't have to earn masculinity or manhood. also masculine people can have any degree of femininity existing alongside their masculinity. they don't cancel each other out. whether or not you ever identify as a man is not up to her and it's just not her business.

good luck, if anyone has any other suggetions feel free to pitch in. that is just bizarre and unproductive behavior

[barbthebuilder]

This is my parting message

I gave myself time to think and talked to some people about this and I have decided to say goodbye to y'all.

Time here has been great and I loved pretty much every second of it. However, I want to focus on my real life now. Tumblr became too big of a part of my life for my comfort. Basically, I think it will be better if I quit.

I don't regret this blog. It made me very comfortable in my identity, it educated me, it made me feel loved and brave and powerful.

But it's over.

I can't thank you enough for everything you have done for me. For every like, comment, reblog, ask, tag, message and boop.

So... this is it. This is the end. This has been such a wonderful journey :')

Special thanks to:

@our-genderfluid-experience - great place to tell your story

@genderfluid-culture-iss - Bro letting people just spill the most relatable shit ever. Loving it.

@our-queer-experience - so much good info! Educated me a lot.

@hefkerut - I just want you to know you're an incredible person and I will always remember you. Like, seriously girl. I had such a blast with ya. You also always reblog the best shit?? You rock.

@genderoftoday - always provided me with content to reblog. Also, funny.

@genderfluid-info-blog - actually, such a smart person. Gives great advice and provides us with so many microlables. Mad respect.

@mxl4vrie - THANK YOU FOR THE FANART I SOMETIMES LOOK AT IT AND SMILE :DDD

@rat0

@popcorn-plots

@aegosexual-moments - you made me realize I'm aegosexual! Thanks a lot!

@alwaysprey

@sundry-whovengerslocked

@fruityracoons - dude, you were such a great support. Thanks for always checking up on me.

@frogofalltime

@foxinasuit - you actually made me realize I want to quit lmao I'm not leaving your side tho hehehe >:)

@joker1315 - always a pleasant conversation with this one! I still remember how you helped me with all that technical stuff :)

@kodiescove - learned a lot from you

@korane06

@littlemisspipebomb

@zuuriell

@crowdsourcedgender - you are doing such a good job. Keep it up! Thank you for always being a great help.

@candy8448

@baking-potato-27

@bhawk-goose - ur so funny hehehe

@banethebloodgoat

@night-rhea

@treion-is-back - I still remember you. Good luck.

@allknowingbirb

@i-am-an-arson-enthusiast

@spacewives-in-spacetime

@queen-mihai

@a-random-mooshroom - YOOOOO you were so fun to interact with!! All the best!!

@bibirb - thanks for supporting my Yellow Dog account and being one of the first followers!

@pronouncounter - count those pronouns

@pronoun-checks - keep it up!

@ghostsofchernobyl

@that-bisexual

@slender-genderfluid - okay, I have no relation to you but I think you're cool

@hijkay

@artistic-scribbles

@frogofalltime

@thegeniusidiotnstickmerchant3728 - you are so cool and so nerdy and SO WERID I am obssesed with you and I need to study you in the laboratory or put you in a maze with traps idk I will miss you sm

And many more! I'm sure I haven't tagged everyone and I'm sorry if I missed somebody :c I appreciate you regardless!!

Goodbye! May the gender euphoria be upon ya!

[screampied]

do u have any tips for starting out your own blog? i’ve been writing for awhile now and want to start sharing my work, i just wanna know how to post and make everything look good 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

sureeee nonnie !!! ٩(^ᗜ^ )و ´-

so some tips i can give you to start, have a pinned post to start. it doesn’t have to be anything fancy, just a simple pinned with important things your readers can access—view, like rules, byf / dni, masterlist, if requests are open or closed, and if you’re a mdni blog. this stuff’ll be important after you start posting and receiving interactions on your work ☝️

tag your work properly!!! tumblr runs on a tag system, and it’s important to use the right tags so you reach the audience that you want. there’s different kind of tags, like smut / fluff / angst. for individual characters, you’d tag it like (character x reader ) + ( character x you ) etc. for a fluff piece i did, here’s an example on the tags i used—

there’ll be different tags for different fandoms. so if you’re writing for the one piece fandom, it’ll be a tag like #one piece x reader | ALSO !!!! this is kind of optional, but i usually tag my works with fem! or female reader, in case others don’t want to see my stuff on their filtered tags. always specify what you’re writing for, whenever i write angst or fluff it’s usually gender neutral reader but for smut i always write fem! reader. you’ll notice how in my works when i tag the warnings, i add fem! reader near the very beginning so people know what they’re getting into !!!

as for the aesthetics go, you wanna sorta ‘stand out’ i would say. hentai / doujinshi banners are pretty known around the smut community, and you can find a lot either on twitter on tumblr by searching under the tag #mangacap . one popular manga i could recommend is called ‘lady k & the sick man’ and i made a tutorial on how to color them here !!!!

don’t base your works off notes. always remember, it’s not a competition but it’s completely normal to feel happy whenever you receive traction !!!! 💗 if you’re just starting out as a new blossoming writer, it’ll take a bit for your work to reach an audience but you just have to be patient. writing is meant to be a hobby, and it’s important to have fun while doing it!

INTERACT WITH PEOPLE 🫵🫵. this goes for reblogging other people’s fics, commenting, sending sweet asks, etc. throughout your time, you’ll get some nice encounters from people. you’ll even get some anons !!!!! making mutuals is my favorite part of tumblr i think, and yes it can be scary. im still shy to make mutuals but i looooove interacting with different people !!!! you just gotta remember, everyone’s been in your shoes before so don’t be shy.

i think the last piece of advice i can say, is to just have fun :) of course, tumblr isn’t all positive. there’s lots of negative sides about this platform and one of it is the harsh reality that not everyone will like your work. that’s just something you have to accept, you cannot cater to everyone and that’s fine! but, just remember there’ll always be that one person that genuinely loves your work and gets excited whenever you post. once you start posting, you’ll see what i mean 💗. don’t be discouraged if you feel like you aren’t receiving interactions right away, that’s normal and growth takes time. just know that i believe in you, and i wish you luck on your writing journey nonnie!!! mwah <3

[sysmedsaresexist]

im a system trying to learn more about endos.

so far in syscourse ive only seen proof of cdds being traumagenic but they dont disprove non-cdd plurality, so what sources are there that have evidence of endogenic systems, if you have any?

Right now? There isn't any hard evidence that would satisfy anti endos. There's TONS of papers and articles talking about the recent emergence of endogenic systems, but they're mostly interview based. I debunked a lot of them when I was still anti. Small sample sizes, personal bias about dysfunction levels, all interviews. Those won't stand for those who are skeptical.

Now that I've calmed my gender neutral tits, though, I can look at where all this research is heading, and I can look back and find all the different terms that have been used to describe this same phenomenon. Those terms don't fall under psychology, they appear in journals about consciousness and self and philosophy, and they go all the way back to the 1800s, developing right alongside theories on hysteria and split personality, and the TOSD.

I don't need to do the work for you (/nm), just Google multiple self theory and fall down the rabbit hole. Trust me. One Google search, move at your own pace. It'll mean more when you find all this yourself and make the journey on your own. It was way more effective when I went alone.

That said, I'm not heartless.

The most promising research coming out is the tulpa studies.

Tanya Luhrmann and Michael Lifshitz are incredible, but it's Luhrmann who really stole my heart. She has a long list of work on religious communication with God and "others", and was a huge part of putting tulpas, and several other different voice hearing, religious communities into the fmri scanners to see what's going on. The reddit AMA is being passed around now, and it's largely being ignored by antis, without understanding what it was.

The tulpa studies began... shit, 5 years ago? Covid put a hold on the project, but it's back up and running and they're working on the final paper. The AMA was a chance for people to ask questions to the lead researchers about the project, including whether they found anything.

And they did.

The brains of tulpamancers and other practitioners lit up in unexpected areas and outside of conscious control (very basic overview).

Luhrmann also wrote about how this kind of research can help other voice hearers, and could potentially point to some new therapy opportunities for those struggling.

No, Luhrmann and Lifshitz are not dissociative specialists. Endogenic systems have screamed for decades about how they don't have CDDs and we just refuse to listen. This research is occurring in other areas and specialities. They don't need to be dissociative specialists to work fmri machines and see there's something happening.

My hope is that once the final results are published, we'll see some very quick movements comparing CDDs and endogenic systems. We're not there yet, but I think we'll actually have firm answers within the next couple years.

And after looking into other areas of research, and seeing the potential positives, and that they DID see some unexpected things on the scans...

Not to mention that I've spoken with Colin Ross, THE dissociative expert, who in the 1980s, wrote about "endogenous multiplicity," a subsection of those with MPD that had no trauma history, no dysfunction, no amnesia, etc, and he still stands by that to this very day. I've spoken with several other experts. Go look at Jamie Marich on Twitter and see all her colleagues in the notes.

Anti endo is a dying stance.

Learn nuance while you can (CDDs and endogenic plurality are different, occasionally overlapping), and jump ship before it's too late to take the harm back.

Happy googling and good luck!

[shadykazama]

Did you get a request? It's headcanons for Haarlep, Dammon, Rolan, and Zevlor accidentally confessing to their gender neutral crush who likes them too. Thanks!

Sure thing! Sorry I took so long 🥲

Haarlep, Dammon, Rolan, and Zevlor accidently confessing...

Haarlep ❤️‍🔥

Was it even an accident? He's very calculated, wins every game he plays- at least in HIS eyes he wins and that's all that matters~

After you come to the house of hope and Raphael is dead, Haarlep goes back to his old master, Mephistopheles. But an archdevil like that rarely has need for an Incubus like him, so he's mostly free to play.

He uses your glamour often, but it's simply not the same as tasting your flesh himself.

He'd visit you every now and then, to get a "refreshment" on you, since you were so very sought after by his hellish clientele.

But one night in the midst of a mind numbing session, he let's slip, "Oh little mouse, if I could take you back to the hells and feast from you each night, I would~"

You'd both pause, and he'd make a perfectly surprised expression, complete with wide eyes and a hand covering his open mouth. His tail curled up deviously.

Whether his exaggerated expression was to cover up his own surprise or the fact that he'd planned to say it all along- you'll never know, but suffice to say the course of your relationship became much more... intense after that.

Dammon 💙

After the savior of Baldur's Gate told everyone who'd been supplying their gear on their adventures, Dammon was flooded with work!

He honestly couldn't thank you enough- but at the same time, there was a part of him that missed being your go-to. He rarely saw you these days, too collapsed with work to see you for long whenever you'd drop by.

But as fate would have it, he'd gotten a break on the very same day you'd decided to drop by.

Despite the promise of work, Dammon's eyes lit up upon seeing you, and he quickly wiped the sweat from his brow to greet you properly.

He was shocked to find however, that you hadn't come to ask anything of him. Rather, you'd remembered from one of your conversations that he'd said he loves the smell of a certain rare flower. That it would become more potent in the heat of his shop, and drown out the smell of iron and sweat. Aaand you'd just so happened to come across a few on your latest journey.

He'd laugh as he took them from you, holding them to his nose to take in the smell.

"Ah just as lovely as I remember, but not half as lovely as you, I'm afraid..."

Just as soon as the words left his lips, his cheeks lit up brighter than his furnace.

Despite your surprise, you still manage an endeared smile, he ends up scattering to apologize but you cut him off with a kiss.

Rolan 💜

Getting saved by you was starting to get old

You were just some stupid adventurer!

Some stupid, reckless, brave, incredibly hot adventurer.

So when his newly found position as the owner of Sorcerer's Sundries was threatened by some idiot who opened an entire wall of cursed tomes...

He shouldn't have been surprised that you showed up.

You were either messing with him or had some divine luck of being wherever someone needed help- ESPECIALLY when it was him. You were there on each of the worst days of his life recently, like some haunting good luck charm.

He grimaced as he watched you. This would take hours to clean up- but at least the entire building wasn't destroyed.

And here you came, sauntering up with that shit eating smirk to proclaim how lucky he was that you were dropping by today for a specific book.

And 'ohh he could give it to you for free as a reward~'

He couldn't roll his eyes harder, but he also couldn't help the smile that played his lips at your dramatic antics.

He didn't know what compelled him, but he leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on your lips, pulling back with a victorious smirk and a blush on his cheeks.

"There's your reward, hero~ You can pay for the book."

Zevlor 🧡

He'd left them. Gods he couldn't believe it.

In his own stupor of glory he'd left his people to the absolute's mercy.

How many died? He wondered, as he made his way out of the mind flayer colony.

He'd been saved, but did he deserve it? It didn't matter- he had people to protect right now and this time he wouldn't fail.

He greeted his people with relief- and with shame. His apologies could be endless, but what he did he could never forgive himself for.

"Zevlor?" A voice called out softly amongst the crowd.

His head tilted up in recognition, hope bubbling anxiously in his chest.

And there he saw you. His heart soared, and then sank all at once.

Out of everyone he'd meant to protect- everyone he'd failed, you were the one that stood at the forefront of his mind.

His head hung in shame as he greeted you, but he was met with no sharp words, nor disappointment. Rather, warm arms that drew him in close.

You were crying, he could tell from the way your body rocked against his, and you squeezed him like you weren't sure he was real. "You're alive."

Zevlor's heart melted as he embraced you, drawing you back to dry your tears. "I'm so sorry, my love."

Your face lit up at the name, and you squeezed him closer once more.

"Never stop calling me that, and we'll call it even."

Sorry if zevlor's seems lackluster 😅 I don't know much about him, but I tried to do him justice. Anyway, I hope you liked it 🫶

[our-lesboy-experience]

HELLOOO AGAIN! Ive been thinking abt this all day so I was wondering if had an opinion abt this? how do u feel abt cis men identifying as lesbians? /genq just wanted to hear what someone thought abt this

I've seen this asked a lot and it's also the point where some people start getting a bittt exclusionary (more so in a way they don't think deeper about it, because "how can a cis man experience queer attraction to women?" rather than something hateful)

for starters, "cis" is generally identifying with the gender assigned to you at birth (though im aware of intersex and detrans experiences that deviate from this). A person can both identify with their birth gender and other genders. a cis man can also be a trans woman. a cis woman can also be a trans man. obviously I'm talking about multigender people, and "cistrans" is a term for a reason

secondly, have you....EVER heard of a completely binary, cisgender man, seriously identifying with and feeling like he's a lesbian (no joke whatsoever) who 100% insists he's cis? there's definitely not a lot and not enough to raise a whole scandal about it

thirdly, many people have commented that they have heard of or they themselves felt connection to lesbian identity before realizing they were a trans woman. if a supposed cis man is seriously feeling like a lesbian.....then maybe that person is a trans woman? and we should give that person space to figure it out instead of getting mad about it?

and lastly, im not the type to throw a fit over someone identifying in good faith and certainly not in a way im probably never going to see. if a cis man actually feels as if he's a lesbian then I would just wish him luck in figuring things out for himself. it really doesn't affect me whatsoever, and drawing a hard line between "valid belonging trans women lesbians" and "invalid invading cis men lesbians" will never help anyone and from actual trans women I've seen say this, it just makes it harder for them to accept themselves and not feel like they're intruding on a space they don't belong in. just leave people with identities you don't understand alone

tldr; if a cis man seriously feels like a lesbian you should just wish him luck on his journey of self-discovery, and there's so few of them that it's pretty much a non-issue + multigender cistrans people exist